"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
-Andy Warhol
When we are children, we never see the hatred of the world. We are instead captivated by its shimmer and shine. The world is a playground, and somewhere along the way, we forget it. But as we grow, we are forced to be reasonable and rational. No longer does the shimmer and shine seem logical, but instead it is seen as a distraction.
For me, there was always a plan. School, marriage, job, kids, make loads of money, and then retire and live a lavish lifestyle. That is the life I assumed was expected of me, because that is what most had done in my family. The idea was that you had to be miserable to be happy in the end. Money mattered; security mattered; the facade mattered. That was the life we were raised living and that seemed like the only endgame.
But one day I decided that was not enough for me. I decided that, to me, the money did not matter. The status did not matter. All that mattered was how I felt, every day, when I got out of bed in the morning. I wanted a life of deliberation and meaning. So I changed my goals. I spent a long time deciding how I would change my plan to fit my needs and wants, but I finally realized the plan was what was holding me back all along. I determined what I wanted in the end. In the end, I wanted to change the world for the better. I wanted to see that world-not in the luxurious way most would wish to see it-in the most humble way possible. I wanted to be a modern day Chris McCandless, minus the dying in a bus part. But the point is that I wanted the liberating feeling that comes with doing something you love.
My goal in life is not money, or fame, or a luxurious lifestyle. Instead, I am going to be the change I want to see in the world. People are always talking about how this country needs fixing and this world needs mending. But without work to be done what would be our purpose? Live a life chalk full of adventures and magnificent stories to tell: that is the goal. Because at the end of my life, I want to look back and see an interesting life, one that was a force to be reckoned with. Not because it made everyone stop and stare, but because it made me happy. And because it made at least one other person want to do the same.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "Always do what you are afraid to do..."
And I intend to do just that.
